Fog

What is the origin of fog? I live here on the Pacific coast and it is foggy almost all of the time, yet it never seems to rain. Is fog some kind of cloud?

Dear Dotty,

Fog is best understood as an acronym: Fish Off-Gas. These noxious vapors have nothing to do with clouds and thus, never cause rain. After a long day of drinking water that they live in and eating others of their kind, fish are prone to large amounts of bloating and gastrointestinal distress. Fish are unselfconscious about "unburdening" themselves of this gas. (Some noted Scientists have argued that this puts fish about the same point on the Evolutionary Ladder as mechanics.) The F.O.G. they release is generally at night, thank heavens, and is usually gone by morning. Whales, not exactly fish, think nothing at all of relasing their "spouts" anytime anyone is watching -- they actually seem proud of it! Think about it, Dotty, have you ever seen F.O.G. anywhere except near water? Of course not. I have stated it, you have read it, and that settles it!

Hope this helps someone,
Dr. Nucleus